ABSOLUTE-ly RidiculousAbsolute Poker has released a
statement following the "independent" audit of their insider cheating scandal

post from Poker on 30 January 2008 05:05:07 AM. © Poker

ABSOLUTE-ly Ridiculous

thumbsdown Absolute Poker has released a statement following the "independent" audit of their insider cheating scandal. The complete text of the release can be found below.

I want to say a couple of things about this entire incident. First, the audit was not independent, as it was done by the same folks who run the Absolute servers and "sanction" the Absolute site.

Absolute employees tried to cover up the cheating incident they knew had occurred. The evidence stands uncontroverted that the first reaction of everyone at Absolute was to deny and cover-up.

Documents and records that would verify the acts of cheating and identify the employees who cheated were destroyed. The argument that this was inadvertent is not to be believed.

There has been no meaningful punishment to Absolute, they are paying a half a million dollar fine, which comes out of one corporation account and goes into another. They do promise not to do it again, where have we heard this before? They are also going through a lot of smoke and mirror public relations effort to give the appearance of genuine concern.

Too little, too late and just too many lame excuses.

Will this happen again in the future at some big online poker site? Yes, it will. There are hackers, cheats and crooks out there looking for security holes in the cyber-systems.

What everyone should look for is how the next site responds to a security breech. Will they deny and attempt a cover-up like Absolute Poker did or will they deal with the issue openly and honestly. The measure of security is trust and trust is earned. Absolute Poker lost my trust and all this corporate double-speak will not gain it back.

My last question is: Why are there still players on Absolute Poker?

[Text of Absolute statement follows the page break.]

BBC Poker "Tell" Test

TonyTell
The BBC Science website has an interesting test that I invite you to take and report back your results. The test lets you look at 20 faces and activate a micro-video of them smiling. The whole test takes less than ten minutes. Your task, should you choose to accept it, will be to decipher if the smile is genuine or fake.

I will suggest that such abilities away from the poker table is, in fact, a good measure of your skill in picking up tells at the table. You see many poker players believe that tells are indicators of whether or not a person has a weak or a strong hand. Wrong!

Tells are signs of a persons emotions and their reactive behavior to stress and anxiety. The change in their pulse or forehead or mouth takes place much faster than the brain processes: "That two of clubs made my flush."

So my point is that practicing and perfecting your reading skills is something that can be and should be done away from the poker table. If you can catch the fake smile or the nervous twitch of the eyebrow; it really doesn't matter if the person is bluffing with 72o or telling you how much they like your new shoes. The physical tells are the same and reading them correctly is your task.

Let us know how you did on the BBC test. My group of 'Poker Buddies' averaged only 12 out of 20; I need to play more poker with them!

How to Enter the L.A. Poker Classic on the Cheap: Let Bodog Poker Cover Your Buy-In

Photo courtesy Wikipedia

The Commerce Casino is the next stop on the WPT

Known to many as the poker room to the stars, the Commerce Casino in Los Angeles, Calif. will once again become home to the L.A. Poker Classic, the next stop on the World Poker Tour.

Set to take place from February 23-28 the L.A. Poker Classic is expected to have a prize pool of more than $7 million (with the winner likely to walk away with at least $2 million).

But the $10,000 buy-in may be a little steep for a lot of people eager to get in on this prestigious event.

So the folks over at Bodog Poker want to make it easier on you by covering your buy-in and giving you a shot at pocketing some of that dough.

For as little as a $1 with Bodog's Player's Choice tournaments you could win yourself a $12,000 prize package!

Who knows, maybe you'll find yourself sitting next to Ben Affleck, Tobey Maguire, Leonardo DiCaprio, James Woods or Jennifer Tilly?

For more info on how to win your way to L.A., go to Bodog Poker.
WPBT Holiday Gathering: The End...the end

WPBT Holiday Gathering: The End, Pt. 1

When I found a certain make of Moleskine notebooks, I knew I would never again have a reason to ignore notetaking as part of the writing process. The notebooks have a soft cover that feels a lot like a paper shopping bag. They fit perfectly in my back pocket and mold to my ass.

Throughout the Vegas trip, I had taken a lot of notes and continued to do so up until we hit 20 players in the tournament. Then, apart from writing down who was sitting at the final table, I didn't take another note.

I guess I decided to play poker.

I stopped paying attention to writer-things. My eyes were set firmly on other eyes, hands, necks, and lips. Whether it was a good run of luck, some good timing, or a combination of both, I was able to build a stack and use it to my advantage.

My single biggest hand before the final table came at our fine organizer's expense. Prior to the hand, I had forced Falstaff off a raise and watched him muck. Then one or two hands later, he pushed all in and I was fortunate enough to have queens. I put it all in and got ready to see his cards. Then Change100 tanked. I figured her for jacks, tens, or AK and wasn't really sure what I wanted to see happen. After what seemed like forever, she mucked her tens. Falstaff had fives, my queens held, and I had a big stack.

It's fair to say that I don't remember much of what happened for the next couple of hours. Though sober, I was tired, hungry, and completely focused on only the game. Before the final table began, one player quietly asked me what I thought about a chop. As one of the two top stacks, I said I'd rather wait for a while. After that, I played as aggressively as I know how, but was completely wrapped up in my own little world. In fact, over the course of final table play, I only remember a couple of voices with any clarity.

The first was Schecky. He was either doing a very fine job of trying to get in my head or just very talkative. The second was Fuel55, who stood behind me and once tried to get me to refuse a three-handed chop and then muttered incredulously when I jammed on the button with T4o (I ended up getting my third big suckout of the tournament on that hand when KuroKitty called with KT and I flopped a four).

Beyond that, I know I won some hands, lost some hands, won some races, lost some races, and got heads up with The Rooster.

How's that for the most uninteresting tourney report ever issued by these fingers?

***

It might have been my emergence from focus that ended up losing me the tournament. Still, a sense of understanding about what was happening around me was welcome. What had once been half a dozen people standing around and watching poker was suddenly a crowd of familiar faces. For the past several hours, I'd rather forgotten everything except trying to win. Now, I took half a second to relish the moment. I knew it wouldn't last long. Though the heads-up battle has been described as epic, I don't remember it as such. It seemed to be over as soon as it started.

I made a quick decision that I wasn't going to give The Rooster the opportunity to dictate the terms of the heads-up match. With the blinds as high as they were, there was very little opportunity for post-flop poker. My decisions were made before the match even began. It would be up to The Rooster to decide when he was calling and when he was folding.

If there was a surreal moment for me, it was the split second between the time I looked at my final hand and the time The Rooser announced "Call!"

I peaked at K9o and said nothing. I simply put my hands around my chips and started to move them. They had barely moved an inch when The Rooster nearly jumped from his seat and said, "Call!"

Without going into it what was actually happening in my head at that second, that fraction of time defined who I was, who I am, who I hope to be forever.

Oh, and I was surpised to see I was ahead, too. The Rooster's snap-call didn't mean I was beat. It meant he was tired of my aggression. In this case, it also meant I was better than 60/40 to win. By the river, we had seen no kings, nines, queens, or eights. I had to dodge six cards when that final piece of plastic hung in the air.

An eight.

It was what it was.

***

What struck me most in the half an hour after the final card fell was the sense of inevitability that struck just before the river. There was a part of me that knew I was going to lose. My head had spent nearly nine hours focusing. Though I'd managed to take second place cash, the sense of disappointment was heavy. All at once, I didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to play poker. I didn't want to gamble. I didn't want to party.

I wandered around for a while and eventually made my way back to the Geisha Bar for a drink. I quickly realized I was ill-equipped to do anything but go to bed.

And that's what I did.

***

It's been a few weeks since that night and, I'll admit, the disappointment hasn't worn off. I still wish I'd managed to find a win. I think there was something in my poker psyche that needed the victory. In another sense, though, I think it might be good that I didn't win.

There was a time a couple of years ago that I not only felt but knew I was a good poker player. There was no question in my mind. I had the game and the results to prove it. I played mid-high to high cash games for two years and did rather well for myself. I had about 18 months in which I did very well in online tournaments with large buy-ins. That, of course, was all in the days of Party Poker. When Party left the U.S., it took something in my head with it.

Since then, the games have gotten fewer and tougher. The players have gotten better. My confidence has been shattered. I look back at my numbers since I closed my account at Party and realize it all led up to a losing year in 2007.

What's interesting is that, while I played this year, I never really played. I never put any real money online and didn't play many big tournaments. Still, it was a losing year. I have a negative ROI in MTTs and nothing on which to hang my hat.

The funny thing is I still have a modest roll. Even after using some of it to buy my wife and her friend a four-night cruise, I still have a roll I could use to get back in the game seriously. I've actually been toying with that idea. I've seriously considered using 2008 to try to make a run and try to find that poker player I was two years ago. I've been close to making the decision to do it several times, but I can't pull the trigger.

The simple fact is, I'm not the same poker player I was two years ago. I'm not the same person. I'm not as disciplined. I'm not as driven. I don't have the time required to be a good player. I have other goals.

What's more, the poker world isn't the same anymore. Even if I could find the player I used to be, I still stand a decent chance at not being successful. The fields in the $150+ online tournaments are not the berry patches they used to be. The cash games are much, much tougher.

It's a sad realization. Though I never aspired to play professionally, there was a time I defined myself, in part, as a poker player. I don't think I can do that anymore. Do I know how to play? Yes. Am I any good? Sometimes. Am I ready to find out if I can compete in today's poker world? I just don't know.

I realized this week that I am at a poker crossroads and I'm very close to making the decision to turn away from the game. That's not to say I'm going to quit, per se. I'm not sure what it means. I actually considered depositing a rather large amount of cash on the only site at which I can play. Then, because I'm a longtime player there and can't get rakeback, I decided not to. Funny, huh? It's pretty clear my decision-making machine is not working at full speed.

I've said it before: I love this fucking game. I just have to decide if I am okay having poker as a hobby and not an integral part of my life. If I can be half-pregnant in this case, then that's okay. If not, I think it may be time to put myself on the Poker Pill and find something else to do for a while.

Anyone wanna gamble on Wii games?

Montel Williams MS Foundation Gala Charity Poker Challenge
photos by flipchip • lasvegasvegas.com

Montel Williams playing in the 2007 WSOP Main Event Day 1B

You already know him as the host of his namesake talk show, you've seen him in the TV drug commercials handing out free prescription meds to the Katrina flood victims, and many will remember him as one of the first day chip leaders at the 2008 WSOP Main Event, so it should come as no surprise that Montel Williams spends so much of his time doing humanitarian work.

Montel is a victim of MS and he is the founder of the Montel Williams MS Foundation, dedicated to furthering the scientific study of multiple sclerosis. Now, you can be a part of this continuing effort to isolate and eradicate this currently incurable disease.

Sign up now to take part and play in the Montel Williams MS Foundation Gala & Pro-Celebrity Poker Challenge charity event slated for March 13th at 6:00 PM in New York at Cipriani 42nd Street, 110 East 42nd Street. Purchase your ticket for this event online at montelms@hgnyc.com or call 212.843.1745 to lock up your seat in this tournament. Tickets start at $1,000 and proceeds go to the foundation to fund this much needed research. Do your part by signing up today or if you can't attend make a donation and you'll feel really good about yourself; after all, poker players are the most generous people in sports.

Montel Williams bio after the jump...

Gone, monkey, gone

I just got back from the drug store.

I spent $57 on various painkillers, stomach medications, travel-size toiletries, sleep aids, and awake aids.

I went to the bank and turned small bills into big bills.

Now, all that's left is waiting for the alarm to go off before I can go pick up BadBlood and head to the airport.

Here's what my "away" message looks like:

Everybody has something to hide except me and my monkey, after all.

As I've beeen in hard core nostalgia mode, here's a look back through Up For Poker eyes at how all this silliness got started.

WPBT Vegas circa 2004

Otis

"I'll see your Guinness and raise you one egg salad."
Three tables, one playground, half-drunk"
"Let's Get to Saturday, shall we?"
Decisions, decisions"
"The Holiday Classic through Otisian eyes"
Bordering on the Adriatic
From rock gardens to Sherwood Forest."
You don't have to go home...

G-Rob

"That's It for the Other One"
"The Bus came by... and I got on"
"Playin' in the Band"
"Going down the road... Feelin' bad"
"Another Damn trip report....I'm almost done...really!"

"Day 1: Cowboys and Hookers"
"Day 2: Doubling Up on the Italian Pirate"
"Day 2: Gawking at the Pros"
"Day 2: My Worst Beat and then Revenge"
"Day 3: The Aladdin... Bring Your Rod and Reel"

My Multi-way Pot

I haven't sat at a poker table in... well, I don't know how long. That doesn't mean, however, that I haven't been playing poker. It's a game of poker that doesn't involve cards or chips, but there's still plenty of bluffing, and I definitely have to know when it's time to fold.

In a little more than a week, I will be married. Less than a month later, I'll be starting a brand new job in a brand new city. Oh... and I'll be a first time homeowner.

How's that for a multi-way pot?

Change isn't easy. I haven't had much time to think about what it's going to be like to be married because I've been focused on planning this whole crazy wedding. Then, smack dab in the middle of this, I've had to find a new job. Let's just say my Luckbox skills have once again extended to the real world.

In addition to finding the perfect woman in Lady Luck, I've now had a perfect job opportunity fall in my lap. With a contract that's soon to expire, I decided staying in Lafayette wasn't right for me.

From Lincoln to G-Vegas to Knoxville to Lafayette... and now Evansville, IN. Once again, it's not a city I ever imagined I'd live in, but in my business, the job often picks you. A 30% increase over what I'm making now sure did help make it an easy decision. Throw in the remarkably good buyers housing market, and I was sold.

Oh, did I mention the casinos? Let's just say I'm thinking E-Vegas might be a good moniker.

Next week, the G-Vegas crew comes to Leezy-anna for a little gambling, a little Bourbon St. and a whole lot of alcohol. Then it's that little wedding thing that I'm honored they've all decided to be a part of. Then Lady Luck and I start packing for our new life a little further north.

To say it's a whirlwind is an understatment. But when I'm settled, I can promise you'll see a lot more of me on here and at the virtual tables. You get to decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Too Cool to Party

Pardon the interruption dear reader of trip reports and gambling godness. I didn't go to the big blogger Vegas shindig. I haven't played much live poker. I am, in effect, semi-retired.

But because I love you and because Otis finally gave me grief about my absence here, I wanted to bring y'all up to speed.

Here's what G-Rob did while YOU were in Vegas :

Thursday

I took the day off. I could have gone to Las Vegas if I'd had the next day too, but the boss says this month is already too jam packed with Vacation. That means I had a random day to burn mid-week. I played poker online and met the kids at the bus stop.

This is my life.

Friday

While the bloggers had booze and poker, I had wine and cheese. Some neighbors with whom we're friendly had a "wine and cheese" party with us and about 30 people I don't know.

Friends, I love a good party and I do like a glass of wine. I do not like answering the question "aren't you that guy from TV?" 100 or more times in a single evening.

For people who might meet me in the future after seeing me at work here are the answers to all the questions you might ask at a wine and cheese party :

1. Yup, I'm pretty tall. TV makes us all look the same size.

2. I was just born that way.

3. Covergirl natural beige. Sometimes I go to the gym after forgetting to wash it off so my towel looks filthy.

4. I'm comfortable with the fact that I wear "CoverGirl" makeup.

5. She's nice.

6. Yes, my co-anchor is single.

7. She's single too. Also, way out of your league.

8. You get used to waking up early.

9. No, I don't do sports.

10. Yes, (your team) sure is good.

11. Hairspray.

12. I gave up on gel. It looked too greasy.

13. This IS my real voice.

14. No, I've never met Brian Williams

15. I don't care.

Anyway, that's the wine and cheese party.

Saturday

Another night, another party. This time for some professional association that my wife has contact with though selling whatever it is she sells.

I was forced to go with the following instructions, "Be Charming. I need these people to like us!"

Good TIMES!

We met at a local steakhouse at 6. The others were already there. Soon we were ushered into the banquet area at the place where we'd fill two very long tables. I sat across from the only member of this professional association who ALSO made her spouse attend. He was 73, retired military, and says his only interests are golf and listening to news talk radio.

We talked about golf.

90 minutes later we had Prime Rib.

2 hours after that I snuk to the bar for a second martini.

That's how I party.

Sunday

At 9AM my wife's friend (Nicknamed "TWWNL" I'll tell you sometime what that's for) comes over for a walk with my wife.

She lives up to the acronym.

I escape upstairs to watch football and play online cards. I did well in a few MTTs but it was less fun with Otis out of town. Don't ask me why but I get great pleasure from sending IM messages that simply say :

"12/488 Average Stack. I have QQ in the BB"

Such are the simple pleasures of my life.

IN TOTAL

Isn't G-Rob living a sorry life?

This is the way things are. I do have a big casino adventure planned in January....and something even more awesome planned with Otis and Dr. Pauly in March.

So there's that.

God bless us....every one.

WPBT Holiday Gathering: The End...Pt. 1

I began my Saturday in Vegas like I begin most Saturdays in the city. I was tired, mildly hungover, and stuck. Had it not been for winning a dime playing Pai Gow and sucking out on a fellow blogger in a poker game, the roll in my pocket would've been a lot smaller. Regardless, my stomach and eyelids had met somewhere in the middle. As a result, I had a lump in my throat and had a hard time putting down the cheesesteak at the Venetian food court.

The only thing that felt right was my sense of optimism, and even that was odd. Normally, as my poker game is concerned, I'm wearing Charlie Brown's storm cloud. That particular morning, though, I was talking as I felt.

The night before, after a big meal, Iggy had asked me if I was going to take the tournament seriously. He knew me, my tendency to stay up too late, to drink too much, to look upon things with less importance than they deserve.

"Oddly," I said, "I'm going to play to win."

He looked at me with a small amount of surprise. "So, you're going to bring your A-game." He nodded and left it at that.

That morning, as I laid in bed, I told my roommates, "I'm going to try to win this thing." They, too, nodded but didn't say anything to encourage or discourage me. After all, they were my friends, but there would also be a last longer.

Finally, in the waning moments before the tournament began, I called home to tell my wife and kid I loved them. I also told them something I normally don't. "Wish me luck. I'm going to try to win."

Why this tournament was any different, I don't know. My record in blogger tournaments is not the best. I won some of the first few blogger events online and won a Mondays at the Hoy earlier this year, but I've never even cashed in a live blogger tournament. Still, at least to people who know me well enough to know I was not being cocky, I was getting as close to calling my shot as I could.

I was going to play to win.

***

I walked around the room for a few minutes and compared seat numbers with people I knew. I couldn't make a match. Nobody was sitting at my table? Really?

It was then the size of the event started to become clear. Remarkably, I would end up at a starting table at which I knew a lot of the players.

1) Change100
2) Friend of Blogger #1
3) The Bracelet
4) B.W.O.P
5) Friend of Blogger #2
6) Otis
7) Austin April
8) Jim E.
9) Jen Newell
10) Friend of Blogger #3

It was an interesting and fun table. Change100, a laid back and sweet girl off the table, turned into a frigid, mute bitch (in the nicest possible way, of course). The Bracelet was only playing hands in even-numbered levels. B.W.O.P was celebrating any hand with a jack in it. April was looking to go get food. Jim E. was pushing the action. Jen was playing a lot of hands.

Despite all of this, I managed to finish the first three levels with 7,400. I only had one big hand (QQ) during the allotted time, and that one didn't earn me much. I stayed ahead of the game stealing and strong-arming obvious weakness. It was fairly routine, ABC poker with a little bit of bullying thrown in for good measure.

The next three levels would prove to be the point at which I stalled. I stayed alive stealing blinds and pushing people around. I picked up a few chips when I had to call Robert's short-stacked all-in. He was short enough that he had to push with just about anything. I had to call 500 to win more than 3,000. It was pretty simple, but I felt bad when I saw his KK. I felt worse when my AT connected on the flop and sent Robert out.

Still, at the end of level 6, I only had 7,625. While I'd been rather comfortable with my play in the first three levels, I couldn't help but realize that I had tucked my tail between my legs during the next three levels. In fact, when our table broke and I got moved to the first table of death (featuring Iggy, Schecky, and Miami Don), I felt like my tourney was about to end. At one point, I picked up pocket eights under the gun. These weeks later, I can't remember if I just wussed out or I actually picked up something on Don. Regardless, I folded, Don raised, and I remember feeling as though I had wussed my way into staying alive.

And so, how does this sissy-boy manage to end level 9 with 33,200 in chips? Well, he starts by sucking out on Byron. I had reached a push or fold point. I spent a few months in a cave in the Troublecat Tutelage program and put his sage advance to use. That's how I ended up with Td2d all-in against Byron's JJ. The flop was 235 with two diamonds. I knew at that point I was going to win. The turn gave me my fourth diamond...it also happened to be a jack. I dodged Byron's outs and accepted my role as Suck Out King.

It was not too long before I was moved to my fourth table of the day...and immediately to The Rooster's right. That's when things started getting very interesting. I won't go through all the hands we played and didn't play. Here's the only one that mattered at that point.

Fifteen thousand chips was not going to last forever in the ninth level. Furthermore, The Rooster had been playing lots of pots. He had been winning and losing massive amounts and had just settled back into a comfortable stack. He had also started floating the idea of a 20-player chop. So, when I picked up A5 in the small blind and it was folded to me, I put it all in. I figured he could lay down most marginal hands and I could pick up the blinds.

The timing could not have been worse. The Rooster had pocket tens and made the easy call. When the flop brough QJx, I started wondering where I'd be drinking that night. When the turn gave The Rooser his set, though, something in my head clicked. I suddenly had one more out than I had before. I heard myself muttering, "Give me a king, give me a king, give me a king..."

And there it was.

And I heard myself again, "Give me a kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnngggg!"

I really don't like myself very much and I think I've made that abundantly clear in the past. However, one thing upon which I pride myself is my table demeanor and etiquette. I am a good winner and a good loser.

So, there I sat, raking more than 30,000 in chips and wondering who the hell had just called for the suckout, hit it, and screamed like a 15-year-old kid who just got laid for the first time. I was embarassed, sat down, and collected myself. As soon as I found The Rooster at the break, I apologized. He didn't seem to have noticed and absolved me of my guilt.

A Rooster's Absolution. It could be a self-help book.

And, in a way, it was. But not in the way I thought it would be.

Poker Tournament Action - Coast-to-Coast
photo by flipchip • lasvegasvegas.com
Las Vegas Poker News

Lacey Jones spotted at the Borgata's Winter Poker Open

Major poker tournament action has moved to the two coasts. The Borgata's Winter Poker Open 2008 at the East Coast resort is enjoying record crowds for the daily events that run through January 31. The following known pros were seen playing in the Borgota Winter Poker Open - Lacey Jones, Bill Blanda, Richard Marshall, Will "The Thrill" Failla, Hevad "Rainkhan" Khan, Louie Esposito, Jared "The Waco Kidd" Hamby, Joey "JOEYTHEB" Brooks, Eugene Todd, and "Gentleman" John Gale. The Borgata WPO concludes with a $10,000 WPT Championship event.

Voting for Online Poker

vote Poker players in the United States are getting an opportunity to vote for President this year and perhaps they would like to know how the current contenders really line up on internet poker regulation.
"The right to gamble has never been a pressing issue for most Americans and it may be years before Congress takes up the issue again, some industry experts say legalization is inevitable because of the potential tax revenue now going offshore to a thriving underground economy."

However, who gets into the White House will have an effect on how quickly action is taken. Here is the current analysis of the Las Vegas Journal News on the three leading Democrat candidates.

Hillary Clinton: Supports the industry’s position: to study Internet gambling to see whether it can be fairly regulated so that individuals can safely participate in it and American businesses can compete in the international market.

John Edwards: Opposes legalization, doubting it can be controlled.

Barrack Obama: Worries that the Internet is “a Wild West of illegal activity”; supports a study of Internet gambling and supports regulation to address the worst abuses.

Now since the LVJ News did endorse Clinton, I thought I had better do a little research to be sure the positions stated were actually the case.

I have to say that Edwards has little if anything to say and none of it is pro-poker. Obama actually plays poker but his position is, as stated, very uninformed about the internet in general. Clinton maybe just another "say anything" politician but she is the only Democrat who has been positive about online poker over the long term. If you want a "pure play" vote for Dennis Kucinich, he has no chance of winning but he is pro-poker all the way. Maybe just an old fashion Pro-Poker Protest vote.

Pimpin'...